Never is a word constantly used in our society. For example,That never happens to me; I never win ; I never get selected. These are absolute statements that are incredibly limiting. It’s the same as ALWAYS statements e.g. you’re always late; you always say that; you always eat too much.
Any absolute statements are limiting on the people involved in the description. The speaker is displaying a resolution of the inevitability of the situation, being bound to the same outcome over and over.
And remember absolutes are used regularly in marketing. For example, have you ever heard of a Lifetime Guarantee. Whose Lifetime? the product’s lifetime, the person’s lifetime, the company’s lifetime? Have you ever bought a product with a lifetime guarantee only to discover that the manufacturer was no longer in business. In the same way, when someone says to you that something will never happen, that does not have to be your experience.
Which brings me to the major point of this blog. Your words have power. They have the power to bind you to your past as well as lock you into a future that lacks hope and possibilities. When you use NEVER to describe some aspect of your future e.g. “I’ll never complete this on time” you are creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Or perhaps you say “I’m ALWAYS late” – locking yourself into that reality. Watch the words that come out of your mouth and make sure the future you desire is matched by the language you use.
Never use this knowledge of the power of your words to judge others. I know from experience that when I have raised my awareness about some aspect of life, it is easier for me to become aware of others language as well as my own. When I first started this exercise to clean up my language, I became critical of others language and pointed it out to them. Let me warn you. That is not a way to make friends. Always be aware of your words and correct, don’t criticise and Never correct others
